We have lived in this house for eleven years. We have spent a lot of money remodeling, improving and making the home and property the perfect setting for this elderly couple.

A great task awaited us. The two car garage needed everything over the years. We had it installed dry walls, new garage doors, updated electrical service for our electric vehicles, solar installations and garage heating.

That was the easy human part. Unfortunately, in all of the home and garden reviews, the crap is piling up. The leftover doohickey from all the remodeling, the intent to put this tool back together, and the rush to get the next edition of The Times out took its toll.

Then there is the totally human condition known as the Mind Blotch. Mind Blotch happens when you shop at Lowes, Home Depot, or online and see something you know you need, but aren’t sure if you already have it, missed it, missed it, broke or if you lent it to one of the children.

Last week wife Patti had a serious wits about her when she convinced me that someone might have stolen our devil and our life because we knew it was coming to an end. I told her in her travels to just get a new one, which she did. A few days later, we discovered our original devil, needed to lift and move things that no sane human should attempt to lift on their own. It was really open and this Mind Blotch is totally his.

The decision was made. We couldn’t put off the crazy state of tools, piled on tools and shit, piled on shit to last longer.

I decided it was time for the ultimate garage attack. I would have the floors applied with an epoxy coating. The contracts were signed and things were going full steam ahead.

In advance, I enlisted my two adult sons to help empty the garage. The date was set, a few days before the epoxy coating. The day arrived and the two sons were obviously absent. I really don’t blame them.

Yes, it was hot and sweaty work, but we got our noses in the grindstone and the two old Holdrakers attacked terribly. At first it was a bit confusing and dreadful. Discoveries were made during the very long day as old and new tools and assorted ‘things’ were found. “Hey, we have three” became a common thread.

I’ve decided to give away any gas or battery powered tools with weird names or solo tool appearances. We’ve gone with everything Ryobi battery-powered, from drills and saws to mowers and shop vacuums – now standardized for home and lawn use.

Once the garage was completely emptied and the floors swept, and everything stored outside and covered with a very large tarp, we waited for the day when the floor would be coated with epoxy and flakes. It took two days and another 72 hours before the ground was ready for the overthrow attack.

That’s when the hard work really began. Pots of bric-a-brac, doubloons and “what’s that?” began.

Remarkably, the sons showed up for the picking of tools, assorted “things” and shelves. “Hey, I can sell this in the yard sale, that was a common theme.” Many trips to the waste collection center and the recycling center have begun.

I discovered several keys, gallons and gallons of weed killers and lawn liquids. Anyone need bungee cords, tarps, weed killer?

I bought new tool benches, storage shelves and bins. Wife Patti began numbering and naming the appropriate drawers and cabinets. Sorting was difficult, especially when you just don’t know what something belongs to, but it’s probably something that shouldn’t be thrown away. It took several sweaty days, but the goal was achieved. A place for everything and everything in its place. After all the work, money and sweat, yes there will forever be a clean shrine, Holdraker.